Oh Crappy

Day 1 again

So all of yesterday I did really well until...at 9pm my brother brought me a freaking foot long BMT with all the fixins from Subway. It was so sweet of him, but I wasn't hungry. I had chicken salad (yums) for dinner and fruit for dessert. I WASN'T HUNGRY. The sandwich looked so good, I just had 2 bites and wrapped it back up. It stared at me--I was transfixed by a damn sandwich. I couldn't even concentrate on whether i won the lottery or not. Crap. I ate it. After I ate the sandwich, it was like I fell of the side of the universe. I could not handle it. It was just too big, too much....and it came back out the way it went in 2 minutes later.

Writing this now, it is ludicrous to have worried so much over a sandwich---I know this. But its really not as simple as "its okay to eat a sandwich." I immediately regretted throwing up the sandwich way more than I regretted eating it. My head started hurting and I got woozy. I passed out on the couch at 11pm and at 3am woke up with the worst nausea ever. I almost didn't make it to work at 8am, I was still so sick and delirious. I had to text my boss I wasn't feeling well and would be a few minutes late. Luckily I still made it in time for the mandatory morning meeting.

By midday, I feel surprisingly good. My energy level is high (ate 2 bananas and a power bar) and I've actually been able to get some work done. Lately at work I can only manage the bare minimum, and even that seems taxing most days. However, I am taking the next 2 days off before the holiday Friday and going to the doctor/getting some serious R&R.

and my new handbag, which I want as desperately as I desperately need to get better is still 20 days away. Kicking this nonsense is a long way away...but closer than it was a week ago.