I feel the need to reiterate to myself part of that passage I quoted earlier:
Bulimia is more likely to span over a lifetime unnoticed, causing a great deal of isolation and stress for the suffering individual. Despite the frequent lack of obvious physical symptoms, bulimia has proven to be fatal, as malnutrition takes a serious toll on every bodily organ.
That is a hard pill to swallow--I mean, I am a very smart woman and I am fully aware of the horrible way I am treating myself, but I never thought of it as FATAL.
I never even thought of it as a disease, per se. I've always just thought it was something I could just buck up and get over...I knew I could just stop with enough will power, lose the weight, finally be sastified with my body size and ride off into the sunset, I suppose. Well, *NEWS FLASH* --it isn't happening. 11:16pm June 27, 2008 and I am still bulimic, just as I was 10 minutes ago, just as I was 10 years ago.
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